Giving gifts around the world

For most people, December is the primary month for giving gifts to family, friends and business associates. A well-chosen present can cement any friendship. But when giving gifts to people in other countries, you should know that it's not always just the thought that counts. In some places, the ritual of the giving is even more important than the gift.

Although there are many similarities, gift-giving customs vary dramatically from country to country, and the same item can convey very different messages. That's why it's wise to know something about the etiquette of presents in your recipient's country.

With that in mind, here's a whirlwind look at gift-giving around the world.

European cultures are in many ways similar to the United States, but proper manners and protocol are even more important there than here. Across Europe, a good gift is always a thoughtful one, appropriate to the relationship. Gifts should be tasteful and well chosen but not overly expensive.

In virtually all cases, good gifts indicate awareness of the recipient's particular preferences. In general, gifts with historic, artistic or intellectual appeal are appropriate, as are silver or porcelain items, fancy chocolates and special liquors. Gifts meant for home decoration can be risky, however, unless you're very familiar with the recipient's tastes.

When visiting a home, know that an offering of stem flowers is usually appreciated, but never give them in even numbers or 13. The bloom itself is also important. For example, chrysanthemums connote mourning in France, while in Germany, red roses are reserved for lovers.

And finally, European gifts tend to be simply but tastefully wrapped. Include a card with a hand-written note rather than a preprinted sentiment.

Giving the right gift at the right time may be more important in Japan than anywhere else in the world. Though Japan is mostly a Buddhist and Shinto nation, Christmas has become a huge gift-giving occasion.

Japanese also often exchange tokens of appreciation at first meetings. Two occasions for giving gifts are O-seibo on Jan. 1 and O-chugen in mid-July. Gifts in Japan are seldom opened when given, but later in private. Never make a ceremony of the presentation, which should seem both spontaneous and sincere.

American and European brand-name items are suitable, as are consumable gifts such as candy, cakes or a good bottle of scotch. The wrapping is important. Rice paper signifies good taste, while ribbons and bows may carry negative connotations. Avoid the numbers 4 and 9 on a gift, since their Japanese forms have homonyms that signify death and suffering. Gifts that consist of fewer than 10 items should be given in odd numbers. That's why in Japan place settings and tea cups are sold in sets of five.

The Chinese also appreciate gifts. A small token given upon a first meeting means, "I hope this friendship will last." Gifts in China are usually exchanged in private, except during grand banquets. If you write a card, don't do it in red ink, which means you're cutting off a friendship. Finally, never give a timepiece as a present, since the English word clock sounds like the Chinese word for funeral.

Gifts are also important in the Middle East, although the emphasis is different. If the ritual of the giving is the point in Japan, the gift itself is what counts in the Mideast. Magnanimous themselves, Arabs appreciate generous people, so their gift-giving tends to be lavish or not at all.

Presents in Arab lands are traditionally exchanged during the three days of Eid-ul-Fitr (festival of the breaking of the fast) at the end of the 30 days of Ramadan, the ninth month of the Islamic year. This year, Eid-ul-Fitr starts on Dec. 26.

Gifts are generally given in public and always offered with the right hand. American and German goods are considered to be of high quality. Never give food items, which may offend your host's sense of hospitality. Liquor is, of course, taboo. Also avoid artwork and other items depicting animals, many of which connote bad luck. Know that an overly generous item offered at a first business meeting may be considered a bribe. And never offer an unsolicited present to an Arab's wife.

In Israel, the big gift-giving occasion is the holiday of Hanukkah, the eight-day Festival of Lights that begins Thursday at sundown. Scotch, cognac and brandy are considered special. Avoid all non-kosher food or candy. When wrapping gifts, use the Israeli colors of blue and white.

When giving gifts south of the border, remember that Latin Americans tend to be generous people who always appreciate demonstrations of thoughtfulness. Christmas has not been quite as commercialized there, but both cards and simple presents are commonly exchanged during the holidays. Good gifts need not be expensive as much as well-chosen to recognize the tastes and interests of their recipient.

Business gifts in Latin America aren't generally exchanged until a personal relationship has developed or negotiations are over. Otherwise, your appreciation may be mistaken for a bribe. Avoid gifts with company logos. They're considered cheap, unless of excellent quality. Other taboos: Never give knives, handkerchiefs or anything colored black, purple or associated with the number 13.

A token present is always in order when you visit someone's home -- for a wife, a scarf, perfume, candy, flowers or kitchen item, and for the kids, the latest, age-appropriate toy from the United States. Another good idea is to bring along items that may be hard to find or heavily taxed in that country. It's not considered gauche to ask a Latin American friend if you can bring something with you from the States. Also appreciated are North American artwork or even small appliances.

And a final caution for women: Be especially aware of the potential for misunderstanding that a gift to a man may create in these predominantly machismo cultures.

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