So much to see, so little time to see it

Travel can play tricks with our perception of time, and in more ways than jet lag.

It doesn't matter whether the journey is a drive across the state or a flight across 10 time zones -- time's passage takes on new values whenever we leave home.

For example, have you ever noticed how on a long automobile journey someplace, time seems to speed by on the way there, while on the way home, covering the same distance seems to take much longer?

Obviously, unless you happen to be driving in excess of the speed of light, there's no variation in the length of seconds, minutes and hours. But there is a palpable difference in how we perceive their passage. Perhaps the outbound trip seems to go more quickly because our thoughts are fired by anticipation or anxiety of being someplace different, while the journey home drags on and on because the thrill of the trip is gone.

Or maybe it's because you've been trapped in a massive tie-up on the Pennsylvania Turnpike.

Whether the trip's duration is measured in hours or days, travelers generally come to regard each tick of the in-transit clock as an absolute waste of time, to be minimized at any cost, while each waking moment at their destination is at a premium, to be filled with as much activity as possible.

They come to measure the success of their drive by how long it took, or their flight by whether it took off and landed on schedule, rather than any particular thing, good or bad, that may have occurred along the way.

For other travelers, the success of the journey is determined by how much they can do, see, taste or otherwise experience while there. They are determined to make the most of every moment; even hours spent sleeping come to be regarded as wasted time.

Whether one's purpose for travel is profitable business or memorable experience, this tendency can easily result in a candle burned at both ends. This particular form of travel stress may simply be a symptom of having too little time.

Or too much, as those endless minutes during the traffic jams and unexpected delays that are a distinct possibility on any trip these days.

These temporal disorientations may explain why, in this age of relatively easy transit, so many travelers return home from their trips more anxious and exhausted than when they left.

They try to cover too many miles in too little time, often spending more hours getting there and back than they do there. Or they rush around popping quickly in and out of great places and hurrying through special moments to keep to the schedule and pack it all in.

One of my primary laws of travel is to be suspicious of any journey where the coming and going takes longer than one third of the waking hours you'll be spend there. That's not to say there's no good reason to take a long trip for a quick visit, only that's it's always wise to examine your motives for doing so.

Another common time trap is to try to schedule every moment of a trip tightly, rushing from place to place, perhaps sampling much but savoring little. After all, enjoyment of any moment requires a certain relaxation that can only come with time.

Sometimes, the more you look at, the less you see.

"Been there, done that" is another mantra by which many travelers measure their journeys. The attitude is especially evident on bus tours and adventure trips, both of which can be motivated by a group-driven, goal-oriented spirit more akin to work than vacation.

The big problem is that all the going and doing often gets in the way of just "being there."

Too much is done by travelers who feel driven to do something extraordinary and somehow to document their experience for the folks back home.

The world has plenty of photographic images of bright fish scurrying around in tropical seas, but seldom enough snorkel and scuba divers willing to just float quietly, entranced by the balletic bustle of a coral reef. Magical moments can happen when you are able to set aside all that separates you from the surroundings. Take the time to be still and pay attention. After a minute or two, the life around you will go back to its normal routines and activities. That's often when the watching is the most rewarding.

Meaningful memories are made when you can focus on the here and now instead of thinking about the afternoon's itinerary, the foibles of your fellow travelers, your next meal or what you'll tell folks back home about what you're seeing.

A surprisingly brief period of contemplative solitude can often provide a trip's defining moments. With that in mind, here are several other don'ts to help you "be" there.

Don't talk, even if you're with your spouse or best buddy. Instead, try to focus your attention on listening to the wind and conversations of birds. Often, the longer you can keep the silence, the more you'll have to discuss later on.

Don't take pictures, don't read, don't write, don't even think about anything that's not in front of your eyes, ears or nose at the moment. Don't take it all so seriously. Remember, you're on vacation, not a mission. Smile at the world, and it's more likely to smile back. "Done that" becomes much more meaningful when you really have "been there."

Remember that travel is a process that begins when you leave home and ends when you return. Each phase of a trip, the going, the being there and the coming home, comes with its own potential risks and rewards.

Adjusting easily to time's subtle shifts is an essential element to making the most of your travels. Allow yourself the time to relax and enjoy the trip. A simple task, perhaps, but by no means easy.